Toddler Comes First; Gently Parenting Them Through Chaos

I know I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus but between Sassi sprouting teeth and work buzzing all along, everything has been all around a little nutty.

We are now the proud owners of 8 teeth! And a swollen molar. Let’s hope that doesn’t bother us too much.

Sass is at a stage where she’s extremely active and even more curious about pretty much everything. She will swing between bashing something loudly on a surface to smothering you with kisses in half a heartbeat before moving on to maul the remote control. Sometimes it gets a little tiring to be gentle.

I know. The struggle is real. Even with an extremely good natured child like mine. When she playfully will whack a plate full of food to go flying all over the floor with a grin while you’re in the midst of a meeting over teleconference, it’s tough to handle but here’s what I do.

I step back and focus. Focus on each grain of rice that I have to now pick up. I first secure her so she is unable to make more of a mess. It’s usually perching her on my hip. It helps hug them when you’re feeling angry. I’ve seen anger dissipate into thin air at that. While discussing the brand image, into your phone wedged between your head and neck, baby on your hip, slowly start gathering the mess and all this while at the back of your head keep reminding yourself what a blessing it is to have a child, what a blessing it is to hear her laugh. To see her cruise through milestones, to hear that tiny voice try to imitate words, that tiny laughter following you around like a lamb all day. I don’t even care about the stuff people say “oh cherish this. They won’t be this little too long”. I love her for her NOW. Not in fear of what she will eventually become. I love our now. Being her mom is fun. Playing with her is fun. She’s funny. She’s bright. She’s full of new ideas. Just last week she was overstimulated and sleepy and anyone with kids would know that’s a disastrous combination. She would sit on the floor with her head down and cry one second only to get up and run round the room the very next. She dragged Faisal down to the floor, pulled on his legs to make him lay on the floor. Not sit. Made him open his mouth and then started feeding him chips. Just that every time he would eat it, she’d cry uncontrollably.

Eventually what we figured and my poor husband did for the next half hour what she wanted was this.

Daddy needed to lay on the floor with his mouth open so she could stuff chips in his mouth BUT he must not eat any!

He is just a holder and Sassi will walk around the room only to come pick one chip at a time and eat them all out.

Yes. He did it.

Imagine. The detail of affairs laid out by mademoiselle, the execution and my poor darling husband.

Everyone she has EVER met for over 10 seconds has commented on her sunny disposition. I always say it’s all her. It is. We are blessed with a fun little creature but here’s what I think helps.

I allow her to be. She rules her world. Gentle parenting doesn’t mean permissive parenting but I respect her as an individual and allow her to make her own decisions.

That doesn’t mean she gets to poke around all switchboards. It just means we see what eventual impact her shenanigans are due to have and if it isn’t life threatening or posing any hurt or threat to her well being. We let it be.

Broken toys don’t mean a thing.

Eating crayons can only mean colourful poop for a bit (small amounts don’t matter. I checked when I freaked the first time she did it).

Spilled food can be cleared up.

A broken pair of glasses can be repaired, all contents of my bag strewn across the room can be collected and placed back in.

Crayon colouring on every surface doesn’t matter. I got Crayola’s washable Crayons for her. She even writes on the floor and on my clothes.

What this allowance does is, she moves on to the next more interesting thing after a few attempts and getting her fill. She’s a happy baby because in this household she comes first.

Being a toddler is hard work.

So many questions.

So much to do.

Dance and play and explore. With all that crazy pace of brain development and speech/ vocabulary development. That darn teething. Possible weaning in future. Imagine a toddler’s life. It’s so much tougher than our toughest week at work bunched together.

They deserve the respect and space to not do anything except to just be.

I somehow don’t get the urgency or even the need to hold on albeit psychologically to any stage of babyhood. Everyone keeps saying you’ll miss this when they’re all grown up. Sure. Fair enough. They won’t be this little forever but then there will be other wondrous things about them? They’ll be lovely in other ways. She’s a little pumpkin we love to love. I do go all “awwww look how tiny she was” at pictures and videos from last year and that’s a welcome reality check how she’s growing but honestly I feel that was a different kid and this is a different child. I love them both to the moon and back but the present is always so much more gifting if you allow it to be.

I hope I keep feeling the same way about her as she grows and she keeps liking us the way she does. I understand the kisses might decrease but maybe in her heart? I hope we always have a spot in there for she is forever fixed in ours.

A little emo post in the midst of all technical, how-to-keep-your-baby-alive kinda urgent stuff.

Will be back with the following that is super pending with me now.

– Our trip to The London Zoo

– Our trip to Kew Garden

– My Pasta Making Class at Jamie Oliver’s Cookery School.

– London shopping posts. Trust me we need a separate post for each category. Books being the funnest. You will want to know what my newbie toddler did at Waterstones.

– The Best baby carrier in the world.

and so much more buzzing in my head! Ugh.

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